Losing and keep losing.

After three losses I think I'm getting stronger yet I'm still hoping for the best this time.

My first experience of losing was after Eid 2016 around July I didnt realise that I was pregnant until a day after I had checked with home kit UPT. It was too late the day after I started having  bleeding and he was gone.

It was all the same with my second and this time we only managed to survive until 4 weeks. It was so heartbreaking and I think this was the time I felt so down and hopeless.

For the third time, just after we embarked on a new journey in 2017 I lost it once again. This time it was the farthest of the two unsuccessful pregnancy. Baby was measured 7weeks with hearbeat when we first went in for ultrasound. But after about 2 weeks we went to see the doc again and this time no heartbeat and baby had stopped growing. I went to Taiping Columbia Asia Hospital and again underwent another ultrasound and it was the same sad news. I'm in despair but I couldnt cry maybe because of the previous miscarriage that ive confronted.

So, the next day on 8 Feb 2017 we turned up for D&C procedure and at that moment I was all calm and ready. Total cost for D&C procedure at Columbia Asia Taiping was RM3100 which was not covered by Prudential Health Enrich.

Indeed Allah is the best planner of all. I believe that these happened for reasons and I surrender myself to His plan.

First precious things

We have been delaying preparing essential stuff for baby and yesterday out of nowhere I insisted on buying something for our baby. I think we need a kick-start to arouse our excitement. So, we seriously became over-excited looking at all cute baby stuffs. And I ended up buying a pair of cute pj's for baby and also a pair of mittens and booties. Since we are not sure whether we're going to have a boy or a girl so I think we better start doing serious shopping after confirming it with our doctor end of this month. I'm all excited to do 3D scan next two weeks. Can't wait to see her/his face. May Allah protect our baby and grant him/her perfect shape and good health. AMIN.

Raya 2014.

Assalamualaikum WBT my dear blog that I have neglected for a month. : p
So this year my lovely husband and the most kind man on earth that I love so much sacrifice his moment celebrating raya with his family and we celebrated our first raya as husband and wife with my family. Not to forget with little baby inside and my lovely siblings, niece and nephews. I feel so happy and I'm thankful to have the most understanding man on earth as my husband. Thank you ALLAH. Eventhough he is not perfect but I always pray that Allah will always guide us to the right path. May Allah's blessing be with us always. I'm so happy and thankful that Allah has given me another chance to experience Ramadan this year with growing little soul in my tummy. Alhamdulillah.

My happy family on 1st Syawal 1435H :)

Of 2nd trimester.

2nd trimester is gladly fantastic because of the energy that is being withdrawn from the sickening 1st trimester.
My smell ability is getting better and nauseous routine disperse with the wind.
I feel so grateful feeling more energetic despite having to bear backache and feeling a little bit heavier than before.
Overall, I thanked Allah S.W.T for giving me this opportunity to experience this.
I'm enjoying relaxed and calm life after being freed by maktab's charm.
Now waiting patiently to be posted somewhere in Perak near to my other half. Hihi. Aminnn
Hoping for the best in our life and hopefully little one in my tummy will grow healthily and safely delivered this coming Dec. 
Bye for now.  :)

Happy mother's day!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t
So long my dear  blog. I've been juggling with life and I spent most of the time delaying works and rushing here and there.
Just got back from Bina Insan Guru at Pangkor and it was fun but tiresome.
Done repaying lost sleep and recovering energy.
I'm back in IPG Ipoh to attend class tomorrow.
Counting days to finish this journey, with small little me inside my tummy.
Hopefully, we'll make it through and soon my workplace will be near to husband's.  Aminnn. That's all for now.
Will write more soon. Really soon.
When I'm free from lectures and this place. :)

3 months

We are in the process of settling down.
Buying things for our rented house and started to complete our life together. 

I'm hoping to have our own house maybe next year. InsyaAllah.
and I really treasure this experience.
Being with the one that I really love.
Alhamdulillah. There's no other word that I could utter now.
I hope that we can complete ourselves and improve ourselves from time to time.
InsyaAllah.

Practicum

Practicum makes me dizzy.
I'm currently feeling very weak.
I can't wait to finish off all of this.
April please come faster because I want to be free from lesson plans and stuffy classroom.
I don't mind being jobless because my brain would not be overhault and I'm free from stress. 
I don't have to face traffic jam and reckless driver who loves to go faster than rocket.
Practicum life is strangling me.
Faster faster time.
Please. .